Eyes are the Windows to the Soul
by DracoMalfoy456
Summary: "Dean looked terrible, his eyes bloodshot and the shadows under his eyes practically black. His stubble had grown in longer than he usually kept it and his hair was in disarray, like he'd been endlessly running his hands through it. Frankly, he looked like hell, and Cas couldn't help the feelings of concern crescendo into fear. Something had happened, something bad." Coffee Shop AU


Shivering from the cold, Castiel ducked inside the quaint coffee shop, inhaling the familiar scent of stale coffee and fresh baked goods.

"Glad to see you finally made it, Bro. Thought you'd gotten lost or something." A too familiar voice said to his left. Cas turned and glared mildly at his brother.

"I got a late start, forgive me Gabriel. I'm not even ten minutes late."

"Just unusual, Cassie. You're usually early, not late. Now, if you'd take the register, I can actually get something done." Gabriel drawled, his tell-tale smirk on his lips, eyes twinkling with mischief. Cas sighed and traded his favored trench coat with the apron that marked him an employee at "Gabriel's Coffee; A taste so heavenly you'd think you'd died"

He took his place behind the register and waited for the rush of customers.

Truth be told, he did not particularly enjoy this job. Whoever did, honestly? Dealing with ungrateful people, always in a hurry, never able to be still for even a second. Far different from himself, who could go hours without moving, just experiencing life and the beauty around him. But his brother had needed the help, and he needed the money. Besides, it wasn't all bad, he thought as he spotted his favorite customer.

The man wasn't particularly special, at first glance. Just another face amongst countless faces. But once one spent time observing this particular individual, they'd see little idiosyncrasies that made him stand out.

"Hello, Dean. The usual?" Cas asked, trying his hardest to not stare at the man before him, finding it nearly impossible. It was just something about him, about the way he focused intently on the menu, even though he ordered the same thing every day. Or how he always smiled at Cas, so unlike many people who ordered. It always amazed him, how brightly this gruff looking man could smile.

"Hey Cas. Uh… Sure, why not. Why change a good thing, huh?" Dean grinned, eyes bright with life. Cas couldn't help but smile back, happy to see that light in his… friend's? eye. He could recall with perfect clarity the days when that light was snuffed out, replaced with dark shadows of pain and strife. How he longed to know what made those eyes lose their shine, but was always too afraid to ask, never wanting to overstep his bounds.

Stepping back from the counter, he quickly filled up a cup of Gabriel's signature black coffee, with one cream one sugar. He then went to the display case and took out a blueberry scone, still warm from baking.

"How's Sam doing?" Cas inquired, as he handed the coffee and scone over. If there was one thing in Dean's life that Cas knew the most about, it was Dean's little brother, Sam. Usually Dean didn't like talking much about his life, even though they'd known each other for just over a year. But Dean would talk about Sam like a proud father talking about their child, and from what Cas could tell, that was pretty much how it was.

People don't tend to think much of Cas; seeing as how he's so quiet. They'll glance at him once before turning their eyes away, disquieted at his 'unnerving' stare. It doesn't bother him much, but what no one ever knows is that Cas understands a lot more than people would think. That he's not silent because of a mental slowness, but instead because he prefers to watch and listen rather than be an active part of a group. It's because of this that when people speak, he tends to see the truth that is hidden behind the words or gestures.

Dean would get this look in his eye when he spoke of his brother, Cas had noticed over the past several months. A look that spoke of intense love, but also of a hint of sadness. Then, in those few times when he spoke of his father, Cas saw a wariness there, pain tempered by fierce loyalty. A look he'd had a lot of experience with, seeing it in his brother's gaze whenever their father came up in conversation. Dean never spoke of his mother, leaving Cas to assume that something must have happened to her. Most likely death. Putting all the observations together, Cas could only assume that Dean's mother had died, probably early in his life, leaving his father to raise him and his brother. However, his father could not handle the burden of raising two young children by himself, leaving it upon Dean to raise himself and his brother. But no matter how often his father let him down, he still looked up to him, unable to truly think of him as anything less than perfect.

But, perhaps he was wrong, he thought as he watched Dean animatedly speak about his younger brother, eyes alight with pride as he spoke of how well he was doing in college, of how close he was to becoming a lawyer. Perhaps he was simply putting his own emotions onto a stranger.

It was several minutes later before Dean looked down at his watch and cursed swiftly.

"Shit, I have to go or else my boss is gonna kill me. See ya tomorrow, Cas." Dean said before leaving with a smile and a wave.

"I'm looking forward to it." Cas stated softly, knowing that Dean wouldn't hear him. With a sigh, he took the next customers order, trying not to think of green eyes that held secrets he could only dream of knowing.

~XoXoXoXoXoXoX~

He didn't see Dean the next day. Nor the day after. Cas had tried not to get worried, but after a week had passed with neither hide nor hair, Cas bypassed worried and fell straight into concern. He knew it was probably irrational, but Dean had never went a week without at least stopping by the shop and Cas like to think that if he had decided to just stop going there, he'd at least mention it. But he couldn't find out if anything was wrong, not without looking like a stalker. So instead, he kept his concern to himself, the little nettle of fear ever present.

He had woken up that morning, almost two weeks from the time he'd last seen Dean, in a terrible mood. As the winter approached, the days grew colder and colder, clouds covering the skies. He didn't know why, but Cas had never liked dark clouds. Part of him thought it was because it reminded him of the day he learned about his mother's death, or the day his father had left for good when he was 10, leaving his eldest brother Michael in charge of him. Of course, those dark clouds were more metaphorical.

Nevertheless, he felt the cold infuse in his bones when he set foot out of his door, the bitter wind biting his exposed flesh unpleasantly. No matter how hard he shivered, he never could seem to get the coldness to leave. It was as if the weather outside had invaded his body, flowing through his blood straight into his heart.

He felt immense relief when he finally spotted his brother's coffee shop, thoroughly regretting his decision to not own a car. As it was a Sunday, he knew that Gabriel would not be there until at least 11, determined to get the most out of his "day of rest". As he took the keys to the shop out of his trench coat's pocket, he saw a person waiting out front, hunched over with cold.

Cas wasn't quite sure what to do, but decided that the person- most likely male considering the width of their shoulders and their height- had to have been waiting a while for the store to open. He was just about to apologize for making the man wait, when he recognized the jacket the man was wearing.

"Dean?" Cas questioned, feeling a mix of elation, and strangely dread. Dean was early, much earlier than he usually came. Not to mention the fact that he'd been absent for the past two weeks.

The man turned around suddenly and Cas had to stop the gasp that wanted to escape him. Dean looked terrible, his eyes bloodshot and the shadows under his eyes practically black. His stubble had grown in longer than he usually kept it and his hair was in disarray, like he'd been endlessly running his hands through it. Frankly, he looked like hell, and Cas couldn't help the feelings of concern crescendo into fear. Something had happened, something bad.

"Hey Cas." Dean practically whispered, his voice shot and gravelly. He tried to smile, but it came out more like a grimace, his eyes filled with grief and pain.

If there was one thing Cas appreciated about himself, it was that whenever something truly bad happened, he didn't go mindless with panic. Instead, he channeled his fear into something productive, letting it clear his mind instead of clouding it.

Because of this, he could feel his back straighten, his face settling into his usual intense expression, tight with seriousness. He walked around Dean and carefully unlocked his brother's coffee shop, opening the door wide and gesturing for Dean to enter. He watched as Dean shuffled inside, arms wrapped tight around his stomach, before he entered as well.

"Sit down." Cas commanded as he walked behind the counter in order to begin a brew of coffee. Several tense minutes passed as the smell of bitter coffee filled the air, Dean sitting hunched over in a booth, looking nothing like his usually proud self. It filled Cas with a dread that he ignored, as he waited in silence for the coffee to brew. Finally it was ready and Cas could stall no more, bringing a cup of it over to Dean's table, along with one sugar and one cream.

Dean gave Cas a nod of thanks, absentmindedly bringing the cup up to his lips and taking a long sip. Another minute passed in silence as Cas waited before Dean finally spoke.

"John's dead." He stated tonelessly, his eyes dull and dead. Cas let out a breath of air as clarity overcame him. His father, the one who wasn't around but who Dean loved and looked up to.

"It, it wasn't that big of a surprise, I guess. The way the old man drank, I'm surprised it hadn't… hadn't happened sooner." Dean continued, eyes focused on the cup in his hands. Cas said nothing, knowing that the best thing he could do was let Dean speak.

"It was just… The thing was, even though I knew it would happen, someday, I never thought it would happen, you know? Not, not now. Not when things were finally settling down, with Sam in college, with my job at Bobby's… should have known that something would happen. Stupid…" He muttered, shaking his head as his hand clenched his cup tighter.

"I didn't know. That he'd fallen off the wagon, that he was drinking again. I had thought… God, I don't know what I thought. That he would get better. But the old man just had to prove me wrong, huh? I should've been there for him, but instead I abandoned him. It'd been months since I'd even spoken to him last, what kind of son does that, huh Cas?" Dean looked up, eyes filled with suppressed tears and anger and pain, breaking Cas just by looking. Just as he was about to speak, Dean continued.

"And now, now I'm bothering you. God, you probably don't care, do you? You, you don't know me, I'm just a customer to you. But, here I am, blubbering about my problems. Pathetic, that the only person I can talk to is a, a guy who serves me coffee. Stupid…" Dean muttered again, as he put his head in his hands, pulling lightly at his hair, his coffee lying forgotten on the table.

Cas just stared at him for a moment, at a loss of what to do. He'd never been good with people, and this wasn't just anyone. This was Dean Winchester, the only bright part of his day. Of his life. He had to get this perfect. He had to.

A few moments passed before Cas got up. Dean looked up at him with his broken bloodshot eyes, following him as he went around the table to sit beside Dean. Cautiously, slowly, Cas put his hand on Dean's back, too unsure to do anything else but knowing he had to do something.

"I… I don't know what to tell you, Dean." Cas began in his deep, gravelly voice. "My… my father, uh, left. When I was younger. I barely even remember him, to be honest. So I'm not really one to judge what it means, to be a good son or not. I don't know what your relationship with your father was like, but what I do know is that you are a good man, Dean Winchester. I know that you do everything you can for other people, and that you never take for yourself. I know that you try your hardest, even when you want to stop, just because it is what you feel you must do. I know that… that you make a room brighter just by walking into it. That anyone who meets you is blessed to spend even a moment in your presence. And I know that your father would be proud of you, that he'd never blame you. And if he would, then he doesn't deserve to have a son as amazing as you." Cas finished, not quite sure if what he said would help, but knowing that each word he spoke was the truth.

Silence engulfed them, as Dean looked at him with wide eyes, obviously not having expected him to say anything like that. As the minutes passed, Cas started to wonder if he had messed up; if he should try and backtrack when he felt arms wrap around him, a heavy weight pressing against his shoulder. Hesitantly, Cas wrapped his arms around Dean, letting him take whatever it was he needed.

"Jeez, Cas. Didn't… didn't expect that." Dean chuckled weakly, minutes later when he pulled back, his cheeks bright red.

"It was the truth, Dean. You… shine." Cas responded lamely, feeling his own cheeks heating up. Dean nodded absently, as he studied the table.

"Well… Thanks. I mean… I know I'm just a customer to you, but you, well… You're kind of like my best friend. Pathetic, right?" Dean asked with a weak grin, insecurity shining in his eyes. Cas smiled softly back, feeling his heart flip slightly in his chest.

"Only if it's pathetic that I feel the same. Honestly, Dean, you're one of the only people who speaks to me longer than it takes to order their drink. Gabriel says it's because I'm too… intense." Cas shrugged slightly, as Dean looked at him with barely concealed wonder.

"Well, would you look at that. Then, uh, I guess we can be pathetic together, huh?" Dean asked, his smile looking just a touch more real. Cas nodded with faux seriousness.

"I guess so."

Dean grinned at this, a brief flash of teeth that warmed Cas's heart, even though it was gone a second later.

"Yeah. I guess so. So, uh… Want to, I don't know… meet up sometime? Like, you know, a bar… or for, lunch or… something." Dean asked awkwardly, his face blooming bright red as he adverted his eyes. Cas felt his heart speed up as he smiled lightly.

"I think I'd like that, Dean."

"Uh… cool. I'll… I'll come in, I don't know, tomorrow or something. We can go… somewhere. If you're, you know. Free."

"I'm sure I'll be able to take the time off." Cas replied, grinning now. Dean glared at him without heat, before getting up.

"I should go. Sammy's expecting me to call him soon, to let him know that I'm okay." Dean said, his eyes glazing over with sadness once more. Cas knew that he'd never truly get over his father's death, but he could only hope that one day it would be easier for him to handle. And as he watched Dean smile softly at him one last time before leaving the shop, he hoped that maybe, just maybe, he'd be able to help him.

Epilogue:

Castiel sat in the booth in his brother's coffee shop, hands cradling a warm cup of coffee. He had just gotten off work, the shop having closed for the night an hour beforehand. Even Gabriel had left, telling Cas to lock up when he left. But still he sat, thinking about everything and nothing, waiting. The clock had just passed 9 PM when he heard the telltale sound of a bell ringing, followed by footsteps coming closer to his booth. He let out a small smile as he looked up into amused green eyes.

"Hey, stranger. Fancy seeing you here." Dean grinned as he took a seat beside him, kissing him gently.

Cas's smile widened. "I see you got in okay."

"Yeah, traffic wasn't as bad as usual. People can get crazy during the holiday season, I'll tell you that." Dean said with a mock shudder, his eyes shining lightly.

"So… are you… okay?" Cas questioned hesitantly after a moment, not sure if Dean would want him to ask. But he felt that he should.

"I… Yeah. I'm… okay. Not great. But… I'm at peace with it. I guess."

Cas nodded. Dean had come a long way in the past year, Cas knew. It had been difficult for him at first, to even speak of him father to him without getting angry or defensive. But after many months of friendship, Dean had finally felt comfortable enough around him to talk about his father and his childhood. In turn, Cas spoke of his own childhood. It had brought them much closer, and after a few more months of denial and panic, mostly on Dean's part, Cas bit the bullet and just kissed Dean. He still remembered the panicked look in Dean's eye before he kissed him back, fierce and passionate.

That had been three months ago, and even though they still had problems, they were happy. When they had told Gabriel, he had just rolled his eyes and stated that 'it was about time' before hugging Cas, telling him how happy he was for him.

However, Cas knew that the past couple weeks would not have been easy for Dean, since it was the anniversary of his father's death. He had wanted to be there for Dean during that time, but when Dean had told him of his plans to spend the time with his brother, alone, Cas understood.

When he left, Dean had told him he didn't know how long he'd be gone. The previous evening, though, he'd gotten a call from Dean, asking to meet him after the shop closed. He'd agreed, feeling both fear and elation as he thought of seeing Dean again. Part of him wondered if he remembered what the day was.

"I'm glad, Dean. I was… worried, about you." Cas confessed lowly, looking down slightly. He felt Dean shift in the booth, before feeling warm hands tilting his head up, forcing him to look into bright green eyes.

"I know. I'm… I'm sorry, for leaving without you. I just… I needed to be alone, with Sammy."

"I know, Dean. I understand." Cas murmured, leaning into Dean's hand, eyes closing slowly.

"I'm glad to be back though." Dean whispered, leaning closer to Cas, their foreheads pressed together. "I missed you, Cas."

"I missed you too, Dean." Cas whispered back, kissing him softly.

"I, uh… got you something." Dean said a few minutes later, after they had finally pulled away from one another.

Cas furrowed his eyebrows as Dean pulled out a lumpy present that was wrapped in newspaper and an excess amount of scotch tape.

"I know it looks like crap, but I, uh, hope you like it." Dean muttered, handing the present over with a blush on his cheeks. Cas smiled as he looked down at the unexpected present. It wasn't very big, about the size of his palm, but the fact that Dean got him something made it feel precious.

Opening it up carefully, Cas stared at present in his hands. It was a leather cord, like the necklace that Dean always wore, a gift from his brother when they were children. However, it differed from Dean's necklace in the pendent that hung from the cord. Instead of an amulet, it was a simple, little coffee cup no bigger than a penny, but Cas could feel his mouth smiling wider than he'd ever smiled before.

"It's, uh, stupid. I know, but I thought that since we, you know… Met because of coffee, it would be appropriate. Especially today. Because, if you remember it was-"

"Exactly one year ago today that we first become friends, officially. I remember, Dean." Cas said softly, staring at the pendent.

"So… do you, like it?" Dean asked after a moment passed, his expression anxious. Cas waited a beat, before reaching over and kissing him deeply.

"I love it, Dean. Thank you." He whispered against Dean's lips. "I didn't get you anything though."

"I don't need anything Cas. You've already given me more than you can know." Dean replied with a small blush, smiling softly.

Smiling once more, Cas pulled away from Dean and clasped the necklace on.

"So, I was wondering… Sammy's going to be spending the next week here, and I wanted you two to meet. I told him about us, during our road trip." Dean said, looking at Cas hesitantly. Cas felt his heart fill with elation, knowing that Dean had felt hesitant to tell his brother about them.

"I'd love to meet Sam. When would be a good time?"

"Tomorrow? After you get off of work, we could go to that restaurant you like. Ever since I told him, Sam's been dying to meet you, so I don't think he'd mind."

"It's a date, then." Cas answered, before kissing Dean softly.

"It's getting late. I'll drive you home?" Dean asked. Cas nodded, and stood up. As they left the shop, Dean hesitantly took Cas's hand and they walked the few feet to the Impala. Cas looked over at Dean as he buckled up, and knew that no matter what happened in the future, they would be able to get through it. Together.


End file.
